Debating Morons Takes Too Long So We Did It For You

Conspiracy theorists and government bootlickers win arguments because they have more time than you to "look into it". We're putting a stop to this atrocity.

Alla Deen

Alla Deen is in no way associated with Paula Deen or Alladin

By Alla Deen

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A close friend recently used “Cabal” in a serious sentence and I was so shocked that I ended up talking to him about it for a good two hours as he educated me on the deep dark secrets of the world. OK fine I also smoked beforehand and was enjoying the fantastical stories.

 

He made some points I agreed with like:

 

  •  Rich people have too much power and influence over politics.
  • Jeffrey Epstein is only the tip of the iceberg in a larger child sex trafficking ring.

Then there was some straight nonsense that an ape could debunk with no preparation:

  • Donald Trump is fighting hidden forces in world governments to save us all
  • Some flat earth shit

But there were third and fourth categories that made things complicate in my head.

Photo Credit - YouTube JRE

There were statements that were most likely untrue, that I couldn’t decisively win the debate opposite someone who’s spent hours researching the topics:

 

  • Bill Gates and other billionaires spread COVID 19 in order to destroy the middle class and have stronger control over the population.
  • Bitcoin is going to pump because the U.S. currency is going to go into hyperinflation and collapse.

And finally there were claims that were legitimately convincing and seemed truthful, that contradicted my usual news sources like CNN, BBC, FOX, 538, and Reddit:

 

  • According to a published research paper that my friend showed me on his computer, cloth masks are virtually ineffective, and making us wear them is another form of fear mongering and exertion of control.
  • Japan shut down its borders later than the U.S., has much more Chinese tourists, has a much older population, and have been fully operational with packed trains and 100% capacity indoor dining for months. Yet they haven’t suffered any catastrophe as we’ve been told would happen if we don’t social distance and stay home.

But, whether he’s right about all those claims or none, it doesn’t really matter to 99.9% of people.

 

Unless you’re an astrophysicist (which if you’re reading this garbage you’re probably not that smart), it really doesn’t matter how the earth is shaped.

 

It doesn’t matter if you think masks don’t work. You want to buy groceries and feed your kids? Yes? That’s what I thought. You’ll wear your mask like a good boy.

BUT, it is annoying as fuck when you lose an argument against some 26 year old incel motherfucker about something you KNOW he’s wrong about, just because his unemployed ass has more time to browse the internet.

 

It’s also frustrating to no end when someone on mainstream news says some shit that you 100% know isn’t true, your girlfriend or boyfriend or parents believe it, and you have to keep your mouth shut because you know those TV networks are like the Bible or Quran to them, and contradicting that is going to be a massive headache.

 

So fuck it we’re covering conspiracy theories. We’ll cover all the things you don’t have time to dig into, that other idiots spent hours and days researching. For the most part we won’t tell you whose side we’re on. Instead we’ll give you all the evidence people cite (the research paper about the cloth masks, the TED talk Bill Gates gave that made people think he created COVID, etc.).

 

Now you can make your own decisions which theories are crazy, and which ones you can get with instead of your weed dealer or some weirdo with no friends on the news telling you what’s real.

 

I’d say “follow us on social media” to get alerted, but we’re probably not going to rank that high with these topics, so sign up for our newsletter. It’ll only be one or two emails a month, so if you’re sick of losing arguments to idiots, signup at the bottom of this page 🙂

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